Tuesday, January 29, 2008

17 weeks and some change (by Josh)

Yesterday we went in for a visit to the doctor for Shey's regular monthly check-up and everything seems to be going really well. Shey looks great and she has been still feeling a little nauseous but no more throwing up! We heard the baby's heartbeat and went over some questions with doctor as he develops a plan for the birthing process. The exciting news from the appointment is that on Wednesday, February 20, 2008, we will find out the sex of the baby! We are really looking forward to finding out, and being able to soon talk to our child by name. (Not that we have the names picked yet, but we are compiling our lists!) It will be such a fun surprise to hear what we are having and we hope that the baby is positioned so that we will be able to tell if they are a boy or girl.

The last time we went to the doctor in December, we only heard the baby's heartbeat briefly, but this time, we heard the heartbeat loud and strong. It was a wonderful sound. In the midst of the great transition that is our life, it was a beautiful strong and steady song that I felt was urging me on towards the future, helping me to know that in the midst of a new semester of school starting, youth pastoring, financial fears, doubts about my abilities as a father, and worries about all the details that I can't control, that we just need to keep steady, and listen to the quiet but strong rhythm that brings hope of new life.

On a quite different note, since we are going to find out the sex of our child in a few weeks, we will gladly be accepting any name suggestions, just hit us up in the comments or shoot us an email. My mom has been thoroughly inundated with sports this year (my dad grew up outside of Boston, so with the Red Sox and now the Patriots, and even the Celtics tearing it up...she is getting a heavy dose of sports right now) and thus with all of her watching of random sports teams I will start the suggestions with a couple of hers: Plaxico and Coco Crisp. Any and all suggestions are welcome...I don't think we have any prizes to offer if we select your name, but I'm sure we can work something out.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

16 weeks

So I broke down and went shopping for some maternity clothes today. I have been fighting it a little because I really haven't changed that much and have been getting by with the ol' rubber band through the button hole trick. But with working every day and needing to look somewhat professional, I thought it was time to bite the bullet. It went okay. I was able to find some pants that look like normal people's pants, but oh the tops. I know the style now is those long sort of baby doll tops. Ideal for pregnant women and tiny little girls. Me being a larger gal, I have avoided them like the plague. Why would I look pregnant If I am not? Well now that I am, I tried a few on today and don't really like them any better, but excepted the fact that I always like other people in them and might not look as horrible as I imagine in my head. So if you see me in said top and I do look horrible, please please lie to my face and tell me how great I look. Maternity clothes do have an amazing ability to make you look pregnant though. Prior to this, I haven't felt extremely pregnant looking, but put on a pair of elastic band pants and a top that cinches your fake waist and comes to your knees and voila....you look pregnant!

I know I sound horribly insecure, but you must understand. I don't work at an office where I can hide my growing midsection behind a keyboard. I have to stand in front of 100 12 year olds every day, who I have honestly caught starting at my stomach. And who discuss daily this looming event that is birth and how they think I am going to measure up as a mother. It is enough to make anyone feel a little self conscious.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

15 weeks

So I missed a week. Week 14 was a rough week. I threw up every single day and Josh came down with some highly contagious plague that knocked us both out of commission. I tried to hold strong, but it over took me on Friday forcing me to take Monday off. The nausea has subsided the last few days just enough for me to rub my nose raw from blowing it about every 30 seconds. I need warm weather a lot of vitamin C. How much longer until I pop this baby out? Only a hundred and some-odd days left. Awesome.

I haven't felt the baby yet, but I am hoping in the next few weeks I will feel a stir of some sort. I recently read that it is now able to sense light and if I were to hold a flash light up to my belly it would move away...I am very tempted to see if I can feel anything, my fear is that I will and become obsessed with it, thus confusing the little guy and doing some sort of permanent damage. Is it wrong to use your unborn baby like a science experiment? I might just risk it anyway.

Last week I turned in my letter of intent, letting the administration know that I would not be back next year. I haven't filed the official letter of resignation yet. I am just afraid of doing some thing so permanent. What if something happens and I am also out a job. I think a have a few more months I can drag my feet with it anyway. I still have very distinct moments where I don't believe I am pregnant. I think it will help when I can A)feel the baby B)start showing or C)know what it is. I think that will help me connect more.

I have a wonderful friend who just recently had a beautiful baby and is truly in love with her. Not in a stupid way, in a really sincere way. My fear is that I won't love my kid like that. I find myself really annoyed by other peoples children in places like the grocery store, or out to dinner. Who decided I should be a mother!?!

On a brighter note, I started looking at nursery bedding. Pottery barn kids has some really cute choices. Expensive, but cute. Just have to wait to see which color palate to go with. Only another month!

Friday, January 4, 2008

What it might look like...

...if I kidnapped Maggie Gardner

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

13.5 weeks

Happy New Year
I had another doctors appointment on the 31st. Just a quick visit. We heard the heartbeat and discussed any questions we had. The doctor thought the heartbeat sounded strong and that this was yet another bench mark for a healthy pregnancy. The next big marker will be in February when I get to 20 weeks. Many women with FVL often miscarry up to 20 weeks, so it will be just another marker that everything will be okay. I am feeling a little better. Actually wanting breakfast again, which has been nice. It was actually a Christmas miracle, because I woke up that morning and was like, "hmm, I'm hungry". I haven't had that feeling for months. I am still sick through out the day, but not as violently as before. I went back to work today and that was rough. I wish I could take a nap in the middle of the day, I think it would really help. I don't think anyone would notice if I crawled under my desk for 30-45 minutes, do you? We got some cute baby things for Christmas. We asked the family to hold back until then, and they were kind to adhere to that. Josh's mom found some beautiful hand made sweaters she had for her children and cleaned them and re-buttoned a few for us. My mom got some cute onesies saying things like, "if mom says no, ask grandma". If you know my mother, you know there has never been a more true statement.

As a whole I feel like I am slowly crawling out of the hole I have been in since November. I don't want to push it, but am just hoping that with each day I feel better and better. Until the end, which everyone has been reminding me is bad again. Oh sweet baby you better be really cute...and have your dad's heart (and ears).